Myers-Briggs lied to me
Those 4 letters cost me years of growth.
I took the Myers-Briggs test in college.
Four letters appeared on my screen: ENTJ.
The Commander. I read the description with the thrill of someone being “seen”.
“Strategic leaders. Driven to organize and implement systems. Natural executives who see inefficiency as a problem to solve.”
“Yes. That’s me!”, I thought.
Then I kept reading about the weaknesses.
“Can be domineering. Struggles with emotional expression. May bulldoze others in pursuit of goals. The ‘my way or the highway’ type.”
Oh. Fuck. I guess that’s me then?
For years, I wore those four letters like a badge—and a cage.
I’d shrug: “I’m an ENTJ.”
When I struggled to connect emotionally, I had an explanation: “It’s just how I’m wired.”
The test gave me a story about who I am.
Here’s what nobody told me: the story was a lie.
It was a cage.
The 4 letters didn’t tell me who I am.
It gave me a snapshot of who I was on a Tuesday in 2013.
That’s not real self-knowledge.
In fact, one user I interviewed for product research for Clarity told me they think of personality tests as lazy self-reflection.
I’ll extend it: it’s a lazy excuse for personal growth.
I wish I understood that sooner.
What’s Inside This Week
🤖 ALIGN: Gmail AI, Claude Cowork, and more
🛠 BUILD: Static vs. Dynamic You
✌🏼 CULTURE: Survivor’s Guilt & A Poem
🤖 ALIGN: New AI News
Curated links and resources of recent topics around AI, health, longevity, business and product frameworks, cool tools, and general stuff I find interesting.
Gmail’s New AI: Google just launched Gemini 3-powered personalization in Gmail that adapts to how you write.
Claude Cowork is out, the Claude Code for non-technical professionals.
Interesting take on how Open Source business models will become obsolete with AI forever.
The creator of Claude Code shares pro tips:
🛠 BUILD: Static personality tests vs a dynamic self
Let me tell you what ENTJ did to me.
It told me I “struggle with emotional expression”—so I originally didn’t try.
It took me years of terrible emotional intelligence and regulation skills, to then seek help in therapy.
Why do the hard work of therapy, of vulnerability when the test said I wasn’t built for it?
I’m the Commander right? Stoic?
The label became an excuse to avoid the growth I actually needed most.
I was truly a misguided idiot.
It told me I was “decisive and strategic”—so I optimized everything, except for being a well rounded person.
Rest became weakness.
The parts of me that wanted to write poetry, to sit with grief instead of solving it—those parts didn’t fit the profile.
So I ignored them.
Until I started having struggles with self-love, my perfectionism, and navigating relationships.
Then I went to therapy to figure myself out.
Nobody leaves childhood without baggage. I believe everybody should own their own self-work.
So I did, and continue to.
The lesson?
Static personality tests don’t just describe you.
They prescribe you who you actually are—if you are not careful.
When I internalized “I’m an ENTJ,” I realized that when I was younger it was an easy out to start filtering every decision through that identity.
It helped me rationalize weaknesses as “just how I’m wired.”
What this really was, was self-amputation of the parts of me that didn’t fit the label.
The test doesn’t capture who you are. It constrains who you are to only those results.
But… you aren’t fixed. You are dynamic. You are always changing based on what you experience.
And that dynamism for me includes the poet, the caregiver, the person in therapy—all the parts the four letters left out.
If you want to read more about the MBTI specifically—I found this article, MBTI Test: Is Myers-Briggs Test Valid? According to Science, quite interesting and in line with my thinking.
Excerpt below from the article on how to use/not use personality tests effectively:
Best practices for getting value from personality tests
View results as preferences rather than fixed traits
Consider results as hypotheses to test, not definitive truth
Look for patterns across multiple assessments
Focus on development opportunities rather than limitations
Use results to understand differences, not justify behavior
Key things to avoid
Making major life decisions based solely on test results
Using tests for hiring or promotion decisions
Stereotyping yourself or others based on type
Treating results as permanent or unchangeable
Using results to predict specific behaviors
A dynamic alternative to personality tests
What if, instead of a static label, you had a living model of yourself?
Not “ENTJ” frozen in stone…
But a real-time picture of:
Who you are right now (being)—where your attention actually goes, what beliefs you’re operating from, how you’re showing up across different life domains.
Who you’re becoming (trajectory)—based on your recent patterns, not a questionnaire from a decade ago.
Who you want to be (aspirational self)—your chosen identity, not the one a test assigned to you.
How aligned those are (the gap)—in a measurable way, aligned to YOU.
This is what we built with Clarity.
It’s not a personality test. It’s dynamic.
Like you.
Here’s the difference in practice:
MBTI says:
“You’re an ENTJ. You’re strategic but emotionally challenged. Good luck.”
Clarity shows:
“Lately, you haven’t been spending enough time recovering, and you are depleted from too much work. Your alignment score is 62. Here’s the gap.”
Personality tests give you a label and walk away.
Clarity gives you a mirror that updates daily, so you align your actions to your best self to better balance the chaos of life.
What I learned after outgrowing my MBTI type
I’ve been using Clarity for months now.
Here’s what I’ve learned about the gap between “ENTJ Robert” and who I actually am:
The ENTJ story said I’m “The Commander”—strategic, decisive, focused on efficiency.
Clarity showed that some of my deepest fulfillment comes from domains the Commander archetype doesn’t even acknowledge.
I write poetry.
I spend hours in therapy exploring family legacy, my emotions, my relationships, how I show up, and more.
They’re core to who I’m becoming.
The 4 letters don’t have space for the poet.
But I do.
The ENTJ story said I “struggle with emotional expression”.
I used to. But I worked on it. Then I changed.
Clarity showed something more nuanced: my emotional availability fluctuates with energy and context.
When I’m depleted—running a company, training for an ultra, managing a thousand demands—I contract.
My cup is empty. Makes sense.
But that’s not a forever state.
When I’m resourced with a full cup, I can pour into others and sit with difficult conversations.
In fact, emotionally supporting others is a huge part of my identity as a caregiver.
If I had just went with the archetype, I wouldn’t have found the poet and caregiver inside of me. The identities that really make me, ME.
The ENTJ story kind of indexes towards: “You’re achievement oriented, period.”
I definitely self-identify as a go-getter, high performer, and definitely “achievement oriented”.
But… period?
No.
Sure I’m trying to…
Reach $10M ARR for my startup
Climb V10
Run 100 miles
But I’m also…
Going into my 10th year of therapy.
Questing towards 10k hours meditated (keeping a 30 minute daily meditation streak).
Writing poetry for my side quest of publishing a small poetry book.
Spending time with my baby cousins helping to role model healthy habits—showing them climbing and cheering them on.
These are all the parts the MBTI left on the cutting room floor.
The entrepreneur.
The ultrarunner.
The climber.
AND…
The caregiver.
The poet.
The nurturing corny future corny dad type dude.
You see, my Target Self isn’t “successful Commander.” It’s actually a bigger narrative, that doesn’t fit neatly into boxes. So I don’t accept the boxes.
My Target Self is something more whole.
The ENTJ story said this is who I am.
Static.
Clarity showed “this is who you’re becoming”—and gave me the agency and visibility to assess myself to ask whether that’s who I want to become.
The version of me that took the MBTI isn’t the version writing this newsletter.
And that’s the point.
I’m not static.
Neither are you.
Don’t let 4 letters, or any PDF personality test result, define who you are.
Because in doing so, you imprison yourself with a label. You may kill real self-growth like I did years ago,
Then you don’t become your best self, by default.
Clarity is definitely working to help me become my best self.
What I Did This Week
Here’s some proof against my goals. I consider myself a very high effort person, and a high performer in many aspects of life.
Not just work.
So what’s my current progress?
🏃➡️ Running a 100 mile ultra:
I’ve been injured with an IT band issue, and an elbow surgery, for about a month. Just been getting back slowly.
Today I did a proper long run (~18 miles, 2600 ft elevation gain), and I was huffing and puffing and out of shape—but I got it done pain free.
Climbing V10:
On the same day, right after that run, I just sent a hard V9 project on the Tension Board 1 (all climber nerds will know what this means).
Meditating 10k hours in my life:
I’m at 403 days of meditating at least 30 minutes daily, to sharpen my emotional regulation and focus skills.
📈 $10M ARR startup goal:
We’re at 500k booked revenue for the year, and we’re just rounding out a customer go-live. Lots of learnings.
Long ways to go, but progress has been made. 👌
Can’t be complacent though, gotta keep grinding.
If you also identify as an intentional high performer, you probably should try Clarity. 😉😉
✌️Culture: Survivor’s Guilt & A Poem
I’ve been doing a lot of processing and thinking lately about Survivor’s Guilt.
The current geopolitical and social issues in Iran, have been on my mind.
Why? There are a lot of parallels (not exactly the same, to be clear) in my own lineage.
My parents immigrated from Vietnam due to the war and had to navigate starting a new life in a new land.
Their parents and my grandparents were revolutionaries during the French occupation of Vietnam.
My dad has an older brother who I’ve seen pictures of but have never known.
When I see those pictures, I feel a yearning for an uncle I never knew.
All my life I’ve asked, “Why me?”
I’ve always felt a lot of guilt in my bones about my family getting out, and me having the opportunity and privilege here that others back in Vietnam don’t have.
I hate that we live in a world where millions, BILLIONS, must choose between survival and doing the right thing. Much of this origin story, drives my passion to empower others to become their best selves.
My heart has been heavy lately for the people of Iran. I wish and hope for better for them.
Anyone reading this newsletter whose heart is heavy too, you’re not alone. ❤️
I wrote a poem recently on the topic of Survivor’s Guilt, to help process the emotional complexity.
I hope it resonates with others out there, who deal with the same thing.
Why Me
“Why me?”,
You ask.
But see,
The river does not ask,
why it carries the mountain’s sorrow,
to the sea.
Like the rain,
who does not ask the sky,
why tears must fall,
before things rise.
Like the farmer,
who does not ask the earth,
why the seasons turn and change,
they merely cultivated pain.
They buried hope,
like seeds in winter soil,
tending grief before it spoiled.
They wished for the world to cry,
Every tear for one who died,
So their suffering knew no vain.
Even with loss, their love remained.
They did not know who would bloom,
They only wished for You,
For You,
to see the moon.
Because Love does not ask for permission,
No.
Love writes love letters, to Love,
in a language only hearts could know.
And Love writes why,
so reasons live in blood and bone,
so deep inside,
“So I could be me,
So I don’t have to hide.”
And Love writes you,
Truth, and not goodbye,
“That weight you carry, but can’t explain?
Your grief for ghosts, and those that came?
The sadness woven, in your soul,
your deep longing, to be one and whole...
You’re not alone, and have never been.
I’ve been that ache, beneath your skin.
That is me, and now you see.
Please come home,
come home,
to me.”
If I stayed with my ENTJ label, I would’ve never wrote this.
Glad I didn’t.
Who would’ve thought life is way better when you don’t put yourself in a box?
👉 Do you want to use Clarity, to become your best self and keep tabs on your own aligned actions?
Check out heyclarity.me and sign up for the waitlist
👉 Do you want to use Clarity API to make your AI/LLM products hyper-personalized with the right context at the right time?
Check out heyclarity.dev and get in contact with us, we’re taking limited early pilots to help AI dev teams solve personalization with grounded evals methodology and tech
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